


Talking to the Moon

by misura



Category: Star Wars: Thrawn Series - Timothy Zahn (2017)
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Unresolved, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:35:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28131009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: Thrawn flirts, Chiss style. Eli misunderstands.
Relationships: Thrawn | Mitth'raw'nuruodo/Eli Vanto
Comments: 16
Kudos: 67
Collections: Yuletide 2020





	Talking to the Moon

**Author's Note:**

  * For [akaparalian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/akaparalian/gifts).



If Thrawn hadn't known better, he might have started to suspect Eli simply had no interest in pursuing a relationship beyond their professional one - a choice Thrawn would have been happy enough to accept, except that he _did_ know better.

Whenever they found themselves in a more or less relaxed social environment, Eli's body language all but screamed 'yes, I am deeply interested in mixing our souls by a union of their vessels' and yet any attempt Thrawn had made of indicating a similar interest was soundly rebuffed.

Under other circumstances, Thrawn would have enjoyed the mystery.

As it was, he felt compelled to keep trying. One day, he told himself, Eli might respond as he hoped, or at least provide some sort of explanation _why_ he kept turning Thrawn down.

_One day._

The evening started promising enough: Eli seemed in a good mood, smiling at Thrawn in a way that showed genuine liking. Old-fashioned Chiss did not consider affection a necessity for an enjoyable soulbonding, claiming _passion_ was all that mattered, and that the exact nature of that passion was irrelevant.

Thrawn held the more modern view that affection mattered a great deal. No matter how enjoyable the soulbonding, sooner or later, one would need to confront such mundane necessities as having a conversation, or at least breakfast. Mutual affection and respect were required to make such events feel less like obligations and more like an extension of the pleasure that had come before.

Or so Thrawn had found it. He supposed it might be possible Eli's experiences had been different.

"I believe you might find the little snacks in the green bowls to the right of the buffet table to your liking," he said, while contemplating how he might test this new hypothesis.

The easiest way would be to ruin their friendship in some way, yet Thrawn found himself reluctant to resort to such measures, even for a good cause. In addition, if he would turn out to be wrong, he would have wounded Eli's feelings - hardly the act of a worthy soulmate.

"Oh. Thanks." Eli wandered off in the general direction of the buffet. It was as clear a sign as Thrawn could have asked for that Eli viewed himself as physically weaker than Thrawn, willing to let Thrawn provide for him (albeit in the form of directions).

Thrawn supposed Eli might have wanted him to fetch the snacks for him, but that would suggest a greater gap in their abilities than Thrawn felt reasonable. Within his human limitations, Eli's talents were considerable. To judge him by Chiss standards would be unreasonable.

Naturally, what seemed unreasonable to Thrawn might not seem that way to Eli.

Thrawn reflected that he'd have happily traded all of his conflicting hypotheses for a single solid clue.

Unfortunately, that seemed to be too much to ask.

Eli returned, bearing a well-filled plate. Thrawn noted Eli had added some of the other snacks as well; possibly he was trying to tell Thrawn to be more precise? Thrawn had only recommended the one type of snack he recognized from previous occasions, but a bit of research and/or interviewing the waiting staff might have enabled him to identify more snacks that would appeal to Eli's palate.

"Uh, want one?" Eli asked, holding out the plate. "Sorry, I should have asked if you wanted anything. I forgot lunch today, and I guess I was hungrier than I'd thought."

Eli's body language suggested embarrassment, rather than judgment. Yet the words were as clear as could be: if Thrawn could not be counted on to remind Eli to eat lunch, how could Eli trust him with his soul?

The offer of food felt almost petty, vindictive, yet Thrawn knew it was no more than he deserved.

Really, he should give up now, at least for tonight. Eli was right: Thrawn had been wrong to present himself as someone worthy. He had let himself be blinded by his desire, his hopes, when he should have been paying more attention to Eli and Eli's needs.

Thrawn swallowed, wondering if he should be grateful his skin did not change color according to his emotions, the way the skin of many humans did. It might have softened Eli's mood to know his words had touched Thrawn, that Thrawn would strive to do better.

"Sir?" Eli asked, still holding out the plate.

"My apologies," Thrawn said. As a response, it was hopelessly inadequate, but for the moment it would have to do. "No, thank you. Unlike you, I remembered lunch." Should he add a promise to remind Eli from now on?

Best not, Thrawn decided: it would sound too much like promising to shoot the second saraa cat after the first one had already slaughtered half the herd of sheepmice.

Eli smiled wryly, as if he viewed them as equals after all, and considered Thrawn's statement a bit of friendly teasing. "One missed meal isn't that big a deal, is it?"

"I never said it was," Thrawn said, pleased to have been forgiven so easily. It should perhaps have bothered him to take such advantage of Eli's affection, but on the other hand, Thrawn assured himself that he had in no way solicited Eli's forgiveness.

Eli had simply given it to him, in the same way Eli had given Thrawn his friendship, his loyalty.

Thrawn felt humbled. In Eli's place, he doubted he would have been as generous.

"You were right. This is good stuff," Eli said, eating like someone who might have skipped more than lunch. Thrawn made a mental note to pay more attention, inasfar as that was possible. "Thanks."

"You are most welcome," Thrawn said, allowing himself to relax a little as he surveyed the room. Disaster had not been entirely averted, but he seemed to have weathered it reasonably well, which meant he might as well try to push his luck.

Most guests looked like they were more at home behind a desk than on a battlefield, meaning they were not the least suitable for a challenge. Thrawn studied one of the more promising candidates for a while, to make sure the man had come alone. He was looking to win the right to woo Eli, after all, not some stranger's companion.

"What are you looking at?" Eli asked, his empty plate swapped out for a glass of a bubbly blue liquid.

"Less a what, more a who," Thrawn said, smiling. "He looks quite well-muscled, don't you think?"

"Uh, I guess?" Eli said, turning his head and sounding oddly sullen and uninterested all of a sudden. "If that's the sort of guy you like, sure."

"You disagree?" Thrawn tried, though he felt the familiar sense of hopelessness already. He didn't understand: he thought things had been going well. Eli had accepted his food, forgiven him his fumble, smiled at him - in short, had given him every indication of being ready for the next step, but when Thrawn tried to take them there, he was shot down without hesitation.

He wished Eli would simply point at someone and tell him, _'prove your soul desires to mate with mine by facing this person in hand-to-hand combat'_. True, tradition called for Thrawn to pick his own opponent, and even he wasn't modern enough to consider leaving the choice to his soulmate-to-be, but ... he was beginning to despair of ever finding someone who would meet Eli's approval.

"What about that person over there?" he asked, indicating another guest who looked like they might have some up, close and personal combat experience. "Don't you think they would be enjoyable company?"

"Excuse me, I think I'm going to get another drink," Eli said, walking away before Thrawn could even formulate a reply, or offer to fetch the drink for him, as the proper, caring soulmate to Eli he would very much like to be.

Thrawn considered following Eli, but that would be going too far. He'd made his approach and he had been rebuffed, and that was that.

For tonight, at least, his courtship had once again ended in abject failure. Thrawn would have found it easier to accept if there had been some sort of lesson to be learned, a clue as to where he'd gone wrong. Yet everything had been textbook; he had said and done (almost) all the right things, and Eli had said and done all the right things, and yet somehow now they were both alone, instead of making plans to leave early and mate their souls.

Thrawn couldn't make any sense of it. The only thing he could do was hope that somehow, next time he would do better.

 _To be fair, I could hardly do worse._ He sighed. He took little joy in social events at the best of times, and now that Eli was no longer by his side - well. There was always more work to be done, more reports to be studied. Perhaps he would simply call it an early night.

At least he and Eli were friends. That much, Thrawn had achieved, and he knew very well that if his choices were between having Eli as only his friend, and not having Eli in his life, he would always choose the first option.

Still. Looking at Eli talking to someone Thrawn could have defeated with his right arm tied behind his back, it was impossible to deny Thrawn would very much like for them to be more than friends.

Going by Eli's body language as he looked back at Thrawn, it ought to be equally impossible for Eli to deny he felt the exact same way.

Forcing himself to break eye contact before he shamed both of them by issuing a challenge that would bring dishonor to both of them, Thrawn sighed.

_One day._


End file.
